‘Teaser Tom’ could star in a sitcom

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I hear some incredible conversations in my journeys in and out of the race and sports books. Sometimes they need to be written about just for the sake of the story and how the betting minds work.

I just don’t understand why a weekly sitcom has never been done about the bettors in a race and sports book. It would be a huge success.

Last weekend I heard “Teaser” Tom Noonan telling his story about how he hit a 10 team teaser last week in the NFL, how easy it was. Tom said if he would have just played the parlay it would have hit and returned 800-for-1 instead of the 30-for-1 he got with his teaser.

First of all, “Teaser” Tom is called that for the simple reason that he only bets teasers. Second, my dog Dino could have won last week in the NFL betting the chalk.

Tom is good for the books and the books are good for him. They keep him supplied in beer. The lesson here is, more often than not, your teaser would have won with a parlay also, so it is a good thing to do both.

 

Now the second conversation I was privy to came in the race book. It was this past Friday and the first race at Del Mar had just been run. A big 18-1 shot finished second with the chalk first and a 15-1 third. The inquiry sign came up and the guy says to someone next to him, “I have this tri and they are going to take the second place horse down as he wacked the inside horses down the lane.”

After watching the replay I did think they could take him down but the guy next to him says you need not worry, this is California racing and they never take anyone down. Then he says it would take something like that movie “The Last Boy Scout.”

If you never saw the movie it was back in 1991 with Bruce Willis and the beautiful Halle Berry; there was a scene where this guy was running for a TD. When a tackler was getting ready to knock him down he took out a pistol from his pants, shot the guy and scored the TD.

The guy in the race book says that would be the only way stewards would think about taking a horse down – if the jock took out a pistol and shot a horse that was ready to pass him. Now that was a conversation that would have gone over big in a sitcom.

Can you believe the football season is almost at the end? Time goes by fast the older we get. We better hurry and get to some plays for this weekend.

College

SATURDAY

Miami, Fla. -6.5 at Virginia: The Cavaliers come off a week of needed rest after dropping four straight games. They are sitting at 5-5 and catch the Hurricanes off a huge effort last week against Florida State letting the game slip away late, losing by 4. Good spot for the Cavs. VIRGINIA.

Missouri +3 at Tennessee: The Volunteers sit at 5-5. A win here and another at Vandy next week; they control their destiny. All of a sudden they have found their offense, scoring 45 and 50 in their last two wins. Look for them to come up big and avenge last year’s 31-3 loss at Mizzou. TENNESSEE.

Northwestern -3 at Purdue: Normally would prefer the Boilermakers in this spot with the Wildcats coming off huge OT win in South Bend, but just can’t in this spot as NW could find a nice little bowl game with a win here and a win next week at home vs. Illinois, and they have gone 5-0 ATS off an ATS win on the road going on the road again. NORTHWESTERN.

BC +20 at Florida St.: Must take the +20 with the 6-4 Eagles who we remember beating USC back in September. They had a week off and catch the Seminoles off big comeback win at Miami, “Great Caesars Ghost!” BOSTON COLLEGE.

Oklahoma St. +25.5 at Baylor: You know how I just hate laying points like this but in this situation the high scoring Bears come off a week’s rest after blowing out Oklahoma, 48-14, two weeks ago. They have just lost one game and running the table could get them in the final four. They want to do it with some pizzazz, like a blowout in Waco. Bears 12-0 ATS as a double digit home chalk. I’m all in…bet this game early. BAYLOR.

Last week: 3-4

Season: 49-39-1

NFL

SUNDAY

Rams +6 at Chargers (44): There was no offense in the NFL last week. Was it the weather? How was it the Rams held the potent Broncos to just 7 points? Has the league caught up with Manning? Whatever, we just don’t see the Rams with another game like that this week at San Diego. It looks to be a low scoring game as well. CHARGERS -6/UNDER 44.

Dolphins +7.5 at Broncos (49.5): Would have liked to have been a fly on the wall in the Broncos locker room after being humiliated last week in St. Louis. Look for a new game plan this week; but I would not lay the 7.5 points against the Dolphins who own a win over the Patriots. Plus, Miami is 7-0 ATS as a road dog vs. a .500 or better team coming off a SU/ATS loss. DOLPHINS.

Last week: 0-1

Season: 9-8

Have a great week and remember the Noonan rule – bet the parlay and teaser just in case there is a full moon. Make a bet every day as you could be walking around lucky and not even know it.

Richard Saber, a former director of race and sports at the famed Stardust book, is GamingToday’s horse racing and sports handicapper.  Follow Richard on Twitter @SabesBet. Contact Richard at [email protected].

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