Golf memories

Dec 7, 2010 7:04 AM

As we get ready for the Christmas season, presents under the tree and at one time Midnight Mass for me (now I can’t stay awake that long), the college bowl games are just around the corner.

We have the traditional Army-Navy game this week and Week 14 of the NFL. I have received emails asking me why I never write about GOLF (Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden) is what the letters stood for when the sport was first played in Scotland.

At one time, I really liked to play golf as the cost was under $20 and you could get some nice used clubs for around $50 including the bag. You could find a lot of used balls for free or just buy the ones in the pro shop that had some flaw for a dime each.

Also at that time back in Steubenville, Tuesday was the day that the girls would play. Also, a game of golf could be played in around three hours, but now if you are lucky it will take you around four or more.

One of the main reasons I quit playing was not only that they out priced me but it reminded me of the public school system today. It seems no one can count past six.

The last time I played, one of the guys I played with hit the ball at least 10 times, but when he finally got on the green he was putting for par. I think golfers need one of those ball and strike counters that the umpires use.

I did have some favorite golfers – Arnold Palmer for one, who once said, "I don’t think my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced."

Steubenville’s own Dean Martin – who liked to play golf as much as he loved to make western movies – once said, "If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt."

The legendary Sam Snead once stated, "If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork as poorly as they do a golf club, they’d starve to death."

Golfer Tommy Bolt had a good line to remember: "If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw it ahead of you, down the fairway, so you don’t have to waste time going back to pick it up."

When I was growing up as a young lad, Bishop Sheen was a staple in our household. The Bishop said about golf, "Man blames fate for all other accidents, but feels personally responsible when he makes a hole-in-one."

One of the most colorful golfers of all time was Lee Trevino who said, "Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe."

And not to be outdone by Bishop Sheen, Billy Graham had this to say about golf, "The only time my prayers are never answered is playing golf."

Mark Twain said, "It’s good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling." Buddy Hackett said, "I’m hitting the woods just great, but having a terrible time getting out of them." Jack Lemmon said, "If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball."

So for those of you who love to play golf, I hope you get some balls in your stocking this Christmas season.

Back to college football – Navy travels to Philadelphia to face Army looking for win No. 9 in a row in the storied series. Army wants to cap off a good season with win No. 8. Navy has covered the last seven meetings, but this is the best Army team in a long time, Navy wins, but 8 is enticing. ARMY.

In the NFL, the players union has told its players to save their last three paychecks as there may be a lockout next year. I feel so sorry for them.

Heck, I couldn’t sleep last night for all the worry. I don’t want the poor guys to starve to death, but there is always that $300 a week they can collect on unemployment. That would at least be one meal a week or half a car payment.

I am still trying to figure out how I lost the Ravens game – at least I saved with the UNDER. The Steelers had more offense before Ben came back and without "Mr. Polamalu," they would not win a game.

Here are the ones I like this weekend: JAGS -4 over the Raiders. This could be a great bet catching Oakland off a huge upset win over the Chargers. BENGALS +9½ against Pittsburgh. This one is like finding money.

BEARS on the money line at home against the Pats off their big Monday night game. RAMS +8½ in New Orleans as the Saints find it hard to put teams away this year. BRONCOS -4 over the hapless Cards who have covered just once all year – a 30-20 win at home over the Saints.

Have a great week golfing, and we will start on the Bowls next week.

last week             since Oct. 25                 PCT

4-6-1                         30-19-2                         61.2