Be careful of your wish list

Dec 27, 2005 12:44 AM

Carol, I know I am eating too much of that turkey and dressing, but I believe I will have just one more piece of that chocolate cake.

Yes, I did feed the dog and I put the cat out and I did park your car in the garage.

I have just one more thing I want to do before I write my New Year’s resolutions and settle down to watch my favorite movie of all time: John Wayne in "Red River."

But before you pop the corn, give me a few minutes on the computer to write my last "Back in the Saddle Again" column for 2005.

Life is good; Las Vegas is great; and poker has never been better.

We live in a great country. We have the best constitution and the best laws for people to live by. Of course, we have some leaders that I would replace, but for now we will just let a little more water flow over the dam and they will be gone.

America, motherhood, apple pie, Chevrolet, the American dream, Horatio Alger, the Midas touch and of course to be 20 again — those are just a few of the things I am thinking about as I eat this last piece of chocolate cake.

Yes, 2005 was a good year. I think of all the great quotes and all of the greatest books ever and I realize that there is really nothing new, nothing is ever destroyed — things are just rearranged in the mind and on paper.

I used to think how nice it would be if we were all equal! But if everything were divided up equally on Monday, by Friday night there would be those that worked hardest and used their heads and would again have the most and that in a few weeks. Everything would be out of balance again, so let’s give up on being equal.

Next, I wish we could all stay forever young. But then I think of the old German who said

"Ve get too soon old, and too late smart"

I realize that being young and stupid is not as good as being old and wise with years of experience. So lets scratch that one.

Then I think how nice it would be to win all the time. To fill all the flushes and straights and make all the full houses would be a dream come true, right?

But then I remember one of the definitions of hell is when everything is always the same, and if I won all the time there would be no "game" — and I love to play poker.

So let’s deal that one out.

Next, I think about the seasons. It would be nice if spring lasted all year, but then there would be no harvest because the crops couldn’t grow. So, we can’t have spring all the time.

Of course, perpetual summer would be nice, but what about those of us with skin problems who couldn’t go out into the ultraviolet light. It would also require us to run the air conditioner all the time, much to the dismay of energy conservationists, let along those of us who pay the utility bills.

So let’s just leave the seasons alone, so some of us can be happy some of the time, rather than the unappealing alternatives.

So after careful (and realistic) thought, here are just a few of my wishes for 2006:

I wish my car would start every time and that I could find my keys and my glasses.

I wish all the pretty girls would walk a little slower as they pass.

I wish that when I visit Europe the restaurants would serve bread and buttermilk.

I wish the IRS would write me a thank you letter. On second thought, no letters from the IRS; they’re too scary.

Oklahoma Johnny’s poker tip (wish) for you for 2006

May you be warm and safe and comfortable when you play.

In God’s time you will not remember if you won or lost, but how you played the game.

Be happy when you play, or go do something else!

And finally, remember to stay lucky in 2006.