Lock ‘n load: ready, aim, fire!

Aug 29, 2006 9:41 AM

Tip of the week: Don’t bet the NFL this week because nobody will play, and you’ll never get a full 100 percent effort for your money.

Also, college underdogs and totals may be affected by the change in rules, which allows the clock to run much like the pro clocks run. Wait and see about the large totals and big dogs, such as Kentucky +23, North Texas +43½ and Vanderbilt +25½ .

Build up your bankroll and we’ll start firing at specific games next week!

This final week prior to the college and NFL football games shall be deemed "Be a good guy week." For those of us who have asked for divine intervention in the past, here’s your turn so he owes you one. I can’t even guess how many times I’ve said "God, give me this last touchdown and I’ll never ask for anything else this entire season."

Many of you probably have promised or said it differently, but we are all guilty in one way or another. The point is that if we would be a good guy this week, he’d owe us one. Kind of like an accounts receivable or a debit card.

This behavior can be accomplished in many ways, both large and small. You could help an old lady across the street, help load her groceries in her car, hold open a door, help fix a flat, visit someone in the hospital, call your mother-in-law and ask her to dinner (wait, cancel that last one — that may be too much of a price to pay), take your child or grandchild to a movie, send $25 to Channel 10 (they do a great job), bring a dozen doughnuts or bagels to your favorite sports book, give the guy a couple of bucks who walks up and down at the freeway exit, bring your wife home a rose, wash the dishes, call an old friend and tell him you miss him. Well, you get the picture.

Be a good guy this week, and it will translate to good luck. More importantly, you’ll feel better about yourself, and if we can start an epidemic maybe we’ll all have a better life. Drop me an e-mail at [email protected], and let me know your accomplishments. I’ll be sure to pass them on.

For our female readers, use a few of these on your man and he’ll really be impressed.

How about some sports jargon that makes no sense:

 

1. Foul Pole — it’s fair if you hit it.

2. A Texas Leaguer — a bloop hit just over the infielder’s head that drops in front of the outfielder.

3. A Baltimore Chop — A high bouncing grounder in the infield.

4. A Can of Corn — a weakly hit fly ball at a waiting outfielder.

5. Dinger — a home run.

6. Tommy John’s surgery — I’m not sure technically, but it has to do with your shoulder.

7. A Rhubarb — a difference of opinion between two or more players or managers.

8. A Beef — another difference of opinion.

9. Retaliation — Stupidity.