College totals on the rise

September 18, 2007 3:57 AM
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Before we venture into week No. 3, I’d like to take inventory of our lost and found department. Anybody who has a legal claim to these items may pick them up at the new Gaming Today office on Post and Rainbow Monday through Friday from 9 to 5.

1. A pair of leather gloves found at Palace Station. They must fit, or redemption.

2. Various "photography equipment" found on the sideline of the New York Jets football stadium.

3. The Syracuse University football team.

4. The Notre Dame offensive playbook.

5. The Defensive Coordinator of the Cincinnati Bengals.

A word on college totals: the new rules seem to be having a huge affect on higher scoring, but as usual the line makers have taken them into consideration. The numbers in some cases are astronomical, and can only be obtained with several defensive scores in addition to efficient offensive execution. My advice on overs is if you need more than two touchdowns per quarter, either bet it under or pass. Trust me, I’ve tried it and failed already. With that being said, how many will a frustrated Louisville team score on a totally inept Syracuse team early next Saturday morning? Don’t you just love it?

I’ve written before than no one can beat the NFL, and each week proves my theory out. I’m going to petition the sports books to stop charging juice for the players, or the sports book can pick the teams. Just kidding, Artie!

Anyway, I’d lay a short 3 points on Oakland this week. Yes, I did say Oakland. The Cowboys plus 4 may be a play on Sunday night, and the total can’t be high enough on the Monday night game, as both teams can easily get into the mid to high 20s. I hate the Giants, but it’s hard to turn down plus 4 against the Redskins. Even if they lose it, it’s the right bet to make.

In the year 2000, one sunshiny day I received a call on my new cell phone and the caller said "Hi, this is Carl Icahn, How are you?" I replied "I’m great, and this is Bill Clinton, what can I do for you?" I wasn’t trying to be cute, but I’d only gotten about two or three calls on the phone since I had it and I was certain somebody was putting me on. After a brief explanation of how he got my number (from Chuck DiRocco) he proceeded with a request for a meeting in Vegas (I was living in Bullhead City, Arizona) for the purpose of hiring me to run his sports book here in town. I really wasn’t interested, but I agreed to come up to Vegas and have a meeting with him the following day.

Upon arrival at the Stratosphere I was rushed into a small conference room and introduced to three men, one of which was the legendary Carl Icahn. I was only introduced by name to everybody, so I really wasn’t sure who they played for, but assumed these were New York guys that Icahn brought to Vegas with him to help him run his three casinos.

One of the suits asked me about the new advertising campaign of the Stratosphere, in which he showed me a full page ad from the local newspaper, totally devoted to their sports book having parlay cards of every size, shape and denomination.

It was at this point where I rather unintelligently dropped my left and replied that it looked like the biggest waste of money I had ever encountered. I explained that anybody who goes into a sports book in Nevada and isn’t aware of parlay cards in the middle of football season is not the customer one should attempt to acquire. Icahn laughed and I laughed, but the guy that asked the question suddenly became defensive and pointed out all the good stuff that the promotion was sure to accomplish.

A light bulb went off finally in my mind that perhaps this guy was the originator of this ridiculous promotion and I’d better start ducking. At any rate, they made me an offer I couldn’t refuse, and I headed back to Vegas with a new job. It didn’t last too long, primarily due to my big mouth and not keeping my left up at all times. Astonishingly enough, I was never invited to help develop an advertising theme for the race and sports book.

Have a great week, but remember this: Regret not what is in the past, as your next mistake hopefully will not be your last.