Make sure winning is your goal

November 19, 2007 5:04 AM
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People who play without a pre-set plan, short-term goals and long-term goals are easily the casinos’ best friends. The difference is, those who have no clue how to play properly never even have that thought pass through their minds, while those who claim to be always "playing with an edge" realize that fact but choose to ignore it just so they can keep the action going uninterrupted.

Now let’s look at the issue from those who want to believe they always play with some kind of advantage. In video poker, that requires first to know how to play your game of choice perfectly. Next, you have to know where the full-pay games are in order that you have the best opportunity of winning as many credits as possible.

Then, you have to be able to know how to analyze all the giveaways, tournaments and promotions around town to the tenth of a percent, in order that you can manufacture a game that theoretically averages out to greater than 100% over a very, very long time. So far so good?

Great. But there’s one gigantic step that is not usually part of the process: You have to win. Yes, the gurus, famous names and math people have got that figured out too. They know and admit that playing the way that they do will not produce a winning session 70% of the time.

I say YIKES! But what do they say? They say they expect to lose most of the time but fear not — the few times they do win will more than make up for all the losses because the math says it will, and by the end of time they’ll all be ahead!

And it doesn’t stop there. They claim to win year after year.

Only problem is, ask them to prove it (like I’ve offered to do multiple times), support it, or do anything that might make even the slightest of doubters blink in their favor. What do they say? Think of it as you would how a politician would answer any tough question in an election year — they waffle, scramble and eventually change the subject, all the while knowing how foolish they appear to the general public.

But one thing they’ll continue to do is claim they always win. You see, they say they never play where there’s not at least a 100%+ scenario. So let’s say the machine is 99.5% and the "slot club benefits and promotions-of-the-day" add up to a nice juicy 1.8%. Viola! A 101.3% game is created out of thin air.

This is their safety net, because if they put through $28,000 in play for that session on that machine and actually lost $1500, they’ll look you straight in the eye and say "That’s not true, I really won 1.3% of $28,000 (or $364) because I played with an advantage"!

Thus, you now know why many of these people claim they win every year on the Internet. Yet those with a head on their shoulders know full well that $364 in phantom bucks will get you two things: A laugh and a giggle. Permit me to laugh!