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Oklahoma is no cheater, but he can sure spot one

May 20, 2008 7:00 PM

Back in the Saddle by Johnny Hale | Carol, I know you always want me to write positive things. You know, the American way, Chevrolet, Apple pie and home made ice cream. That things will always be better tomorrow that they were today.

So I will be very positive in my advice about how to understand cheating and staying out of the line of fire.

It is the obligation of the older poker players who have been there to give a little warning and advice to the (Young Whippersnappers) future poker players of the world.

My dad told me, "It has been said that to those that many things have been given, many things are required and expected of them!"

I guarantee that 97 percent of everything I tell you is true. So I tell it like it is! First, as a whole, I believe poker players are more trustworthy than any of the other professions. I believe as Anne Frank wrote in her diary after hiding from the Germans in that attic in Amsterdam during World War II for such a long time, "People are basically good!"

I also believe people are as good as they can be under certain circumstances.

The technology exists that with the right equipment you can read a poker card from the moon and beyond. If necessary, a card can be made to talk! With certain dyes and chemicals that a deck of cards can be marked, only the designer, person or his team can read that card.

Dealer skills exist, so that a mechanic can change a card as you look at it or put the Ace of Clubs in your left ear and pull out the Ace of Hearts from your right ear. A spade can be changed to a heart, while you watch. Team members can communicate with each other without speaking.

Signals of the very skilled cheaters are of such a high level that each member of the team can communicate with each other when they wish. Every card that each cheating team member has knowledge of can and will be made known at important times to each of the members.

I have seen all of the above (performed and on a need-to-know basis) I can arrange an audition for you. Just email me and (for a fee) I will arrange it for you. Yes, you may bring a camera.

Of course, none of this cheating ever happens here in Las Vegas!

The politicians (and we know how trustworthy they are) have arranged for the Nevada Gaming Commission in Las Vegas to protect us.

OK-J Tip of the Week

Sometimes as many as 20 or more poker players are in a dedicated cheating partnership pool.

The team invests a few more buy-ins and puts a few more players in the tournament. Their assignment is go out fast, take chances, double up an then double up again. Say they start with $10K and double to $20K and then $40K.

Then they go to sleep for a while (the blinds are low) until one of the skilled players knows how to handle a big stack. Then the speed player dumps that $20K or $40K over to the skilled man.

The knowledge of one card is worth at least 2 percent of the DNA of the total deck. Each player in an honest game has about 4 percent of the DNA in each hand of poker because of his two personal cards.

The cheating team controls 4x 20 or 80 percent of the tournament knowledge. It is not exactly a level playing field.

Observe things. Watch for the unnecessary movement of the hands the rifling of chips up and down! In less than an hour, you and I could design a system to tell a cheating team member what two cards we were holding or what two we had discarded.

If you want me to tell you more, email questions to [email protected]