A Vegas poker room wish list

Jul 28, 2009 5:03 PM
Back in the Saddle by Johnny Hale |

Now that the World Series of Poker is behind us, it would be nice to catch our breath, and maybe reflect on a few things, poker and otherwise.

When one gets older, it seems like thoughts often turn to how things should be, compared to how things actually are. The result is often a "wish list" of the way we’d like things to be.

For instance, it would be nice if we could all stay young and never get old, or if spring was a year-round season, especially here in Las Vegas.

It would also be nice if I could always find my car keys and glasses, and if the European restaurants I sometimes visit would serve bread and buttermilk.

But let’s tailor this list toward poker, which is the reason for this dissertation. So, here is the way I wish it could be in Las Vegas as well as other poker rooms:

All the dealers should be girls. Let the boys get a real job.

The floor person who takes your name down for a seat should not take a toke from another player and put them ahead of you.

The card room should have a porter clean up a mess as soon as it is made.

The card room should destroy damaged cards, rather than putting them back into play in a lower limit game.

When the game is short-handed, the dealer should automatically reduce the rake (the amount held out for the house).

When the card room gets too cold late at night, the card room manager should, if not on the first request, at least on the second request, adjust the room temperature and not just pretend to do so.

The card rooms should raise the rake and pay the dealers a commensurate salary, and as such, tokes would be reserved for outstanding service or friendliness, or to insure promptness.

The card room should realize that they have a privileged license and that they charge us huge amounts of money to keep the games pure. They should have the courage and desire to earn this large amount of money by going to a court of law to prove that a player was guilty of cheating or disturbing the game before they have the player barred from their card room and attempting to have the player barred from other card rooms. This is not fair and is contrary to the American system of justice. All players should take a stand against this dictatorial treatment of the players by the casino.

All the rules of poker should be standardized so that we get the same ruling any day of the week at any time of the day. They charge us $100 and sometimes much more per hour to supervise the games, so they should earn their money. They owe this to the players.

The card tables should not be crowded or uncomfortable. Each player should have adequate room, and small stud tables should not be used for a10-handed hold’em game.

The card rooms should not permit a dealer to play any casino games during his shift.

The card rooms should be required to provide good ventilation and proper lighting.

The card rooms should be required to furnish good cards, and the chips should be cleaned and sterilized at least once each month.

The players should be required to dress properly and refrain from the use of foul language.

Can you think of anything else for our wish list? Let me know.

Until next time, stay lucky.

Question? Comment? E-mail me at: Johnny Hale