Lions unload on Comedy Central

December 18, 2001 9:12 AM
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They lost 12 straight games. They were winless. They were the main joke in comedians’ stand-up routines.

But nobody is laughing at the Detroit Lions anymore ”” and Motown is rocking again.

The Lions recorded win number one last Sunday. But you had to love the Lions even while they sported a goose egg in the win column. I know the true fans of the underdog loved them all season long.

Five of their first nine losses were by a touchdown or less. The following three losses were by no more than a field goal. Anyone who bet a chunk of their bankroll on Detroit’s last four games won the money!

Hats off to Matt Millen and company. The new GM never bad-mouthed his new head coach and the team continued to play hard every week. And that’s more than you can say about the team that cracked the Lions’ goose egg. After all, the Vikes have Randy Moss. He probably didn’t feel like playing. I know one thing for sure ”” the Lions do!

PATRIOTS —3 over Dolphins: Pats may not be able to duplicate shut-out effort of Niners but the talent and effort will be there. No QB any better than Tom Brady and one of the main reasons for that is Antowain Smith. Antowain to win battle of the Smiths over Lamar.

Eagles +4 over 49ERS: Niners have recorded back-to-back shutouts in last two home games. But they’ll have to be careful with Philly. Eagles have won six of last seven and none have been by less than 10 points. Defense is extremely stingy with touchdowns.

RAIDERS —6 over Titans: Raiders were very fortunate to not only cover the spread, but win the game against San Diego. They did finally stop the run. The Raiders had allowed over 190 yards rushing per game in the previous five games.

BUCS —3 over Saints: The Bucs are like a big maple tree with Warren Sapp as their main root. The tree may be without Sapp, but feeling here is that troops will rally at home to keep the Bucs in the playoff race.

PANTHERS +10 over Rams: Panthers have lost DE Sean Gilbert for the season. But all year long these cellar dwellers seem to hang in there despite injuries and win the money. Don’t let the 12-game losing streak deceive you. These Cats have covered the point spread in over 60 percent of their games.

CHIEFS —3½ over Chargers: Is anyone running more consistently than Priest Holmes? And finally Trent Green has decided to bless us with his passing skills. Weather report in San Diego is calling for Drew Brees after Flutie’s three crucial picks. Chiefs were the first team to start Bolts seven-game slide and may add number eight.

Seahawks +3½ over GIANTS: Seahawks smell an outside chance at the playoffs. Ricky Watters sprained his ankle after being named the starter and going over 100 yards versus Dallas. But team doesn’t lose anything with Shaun Alexander. Giants D seems to be slacking off a little while Seattle’s defense appears to be picking up the slack.

Bills +4 over FALCONS: Bills young defensive linemen filled in nicely for injured starters last week. Bills nearly upset a strong New England club as Alex Van Pelt continued his strong play. Atlanta is not protecting the QB and Maurice Smith has been ineffective trying to run on a sprained ankle.

Bears —2½ over SKINS: As long as they’re not playing the Packers, the Bears beat just about everybody. Anthony Thomas ran for over 170 yards versus Tampa Bay and Da Bears defense continued to pound running backs, QBs and receivers! The Cinderella come-back slipper that fit so well for five straight wins, seems to be slipping away from Marty’s boys. The Skins have lost two of their last three games.

Bengals +12 over RAVENS: Billick has no one to blame but himself. He’s the one that thought Elvis would ignite the stage. While Billick might be a great field general I guess he’s no Colonel Parker.

PACKERS —8 over Browns: Only hope in Cleveland was that a few of the bottles would have hit their own offensive linemen in the head. Only then would they have had a chance of having some blocking sense knocked into them.

Lions +9 over STEELERS: Pittsburgh has won six straight. Lions are on a one game run! But they will play all the way to the finish.

CARDS —3 over Cowboys: Home finale for Plummer. Cards will have an ace up their sleeve to avoid Dallas sweep! Will those Grammaticas ever learn to stop jumping around like Mexican jumping beans? Just kick the ball and go back to the sideline!

VIKINGS —3 over Jags: Vikes are a disaster on the road. Not much better at home but should be enough for the injury ravaged Jags.

Jets +3 over COLTS: Not sure about this line but maybe the oddsmakers figure that the Colts have been humiliated on national TV enough for one season. The Colts a favorite? I’ll take the Jets in a must win situation for the playoffs as opposed to a must win to save face on the other side of the field!