Welcome to the final week of the NFL preseason, where teams basically show up and pray that nobody gets hurt. Heaven forbid an actual game should occur.
It’s a complete waste of time to watch their laborious affairs, which make money for the networks, the NFL and, of course, the sports books. That’s why we write about these snoozers.
Here goes, one last time.
Thursday, Sept. 2
Jaguars (NL) at Patriots: New England is usually fine at home, but the Pats could care less about this one. For that very reason, we’ll go with Jax if a line ever comes up. JAGS.
Colts (+1Â½) at Giants: New York HC Tom Coughlin will probably play Eli Manning a lot, which is good cause he’s sitting against Eagles. GIANTS.
Panthers (+3) at Steelers: Carolina comes off emotional rematch with New England. Look for QB Ben Roethlisberger to have another nice performance. STEELERS.
Bills (+4) at Lions: Detroit is at home. The Buffalo will not roam. LIONS.
Chiefs (NL) at Cowboys: No way KC cares in the slightest about this one, especially with the short week. Dallas HC Bill Parcells will play Drew Henson a lot. COWBOYS.
Bucs (+1Â½) at Texans: It will be nice for the home folks to see Houston knock off Tampa Bay. But it means zilch. TEXANS.
Cards (+7Â½) at Broncos: You have to be pretty sorry these days in the NFL to be this much a dog in preseason. Arizona is. BRONCOS.
Vikings (+3) at Seahawks: This game could come down to the very first series. We’re banking on Daunte Culpepper not hitting Randy Moss for a score. SEAHAWKS.
Rams (+3Â½) at Raiders: Mike Martz was steaming last week and we correctly said that St. Louis would respond against Skins. Rams revert back to not caring. RAIDERS.
Chargers (+3Â½) at 49ers: What a lemon! Well, both could sure use a win. We’ll take the points as Philip Rivers sees some more action. CHARGERS.
Friday, Sept. 3
Eagles (+3) at Jets: Arrive at Giants Stadium really early cause the McNabb-Pennington matchup will last as long as Hoffa did. EAGLES.
Falcons (+4) at Redskins: BEST BET. Finally a game to chew on. Mike Vick has done a lot of sitting and Matt Schaub is becoming very comfortable running the West Coast offense. Schaub has another good game as Skins watch. FALCONS.
Colts (+3) at Bengals: Indy has the big opener next Thursday at New England. Tony Dungy isn’t risking Peyton. BENGALS.
Bears (+3Â½) at Browns: Too bad this isn’t a regular season game. Lovie affair continues.. BEARS.
Packers (NL) at Titans: Maybe Brett Favre plays a series. Ditto for Steve McNair. Tennessee HC Jeff Fisher never likes to lose. TITANS.
Dolphins (+3) at Saints: Will Ricky Williams show up? How about a phone call? One series with Deuce McAllister could be enough. SAINTS.