Alicia! There’s no better housewife than me

Dec 24, 2012 3:00 AM

My people tell me Alicia Jacobs, of Channel 3 fame, wants to be cast in the new Housewives of Las Vegas spinoff reality show. Hey, why now? Vegas isn’t that far from Orange County.

It’s all about ratings my friend. But if they are considering Alicia, yours truly has to be in the mix. Who better to represent housewives than Madame Rock? I’ve been married for years. I’m the gay Betty White!

I hear the show is going to be called Sin City Rules. These type projects are so gay! All this reality with the chefs and Gordon Ramsey, Hell’s Kitchen and all the shows that keep moving is enough to make your head spin – trying to remember who’s going where, who’s opening at the newly renamed venue, etc., etc., etc. I wonder who will survive.

Your columnist does plan to soon throw his hat into this reality show genre with a show called Monti Rock Unmasked – The Truly Unbelievable Character. We’ll explore how he gets his sources, how he gets thrown out of places re-invited to some, uninvited to others.

It’s all in a day’s work. In Monti’s world it is not who you know but rather, what you know.

As the year is coming to an end we have to celebrate. Be grateful, be humble; and we must keep in mind the power of kindness. I want to send a special shout out to two of my favorites – Criss Angel and Lou Christie.

Criss has been so kind to me over the years and we have developed a tight friendship. He is the Mick Jagger of magic. Christie and I go back to his days in New York City. Having him perform this weekend at the Suncoast shows that Lightin’s Striking Again and Again and Again.

Good news like this is what we need to counter all the sadness. So much pain from the mass murder of innocent children and teachers to the devastation of Sandy that wiped out the Jersey Shore and left many on the Eastern Seaboard without power. 

And of course there was my battle against a grave illness. I’m proud to say I am recovering and now have a new perspective on what my job is as a gossip columnist.

The closing of the Phantom of the Opera – one of the greatest productions of theater, actors and ensemble – had a five-year run. But in the end, it is all about economics. It is all about money. You do the math.

The closing of my favorite Cirque show, Viva Elvis at Aria’s, left me bewildered and disappointed it couldn’t find an audience. We also have the problem of the Harmon Towers, which they want to tear down.

We also have the great Fontainebleau on Las Vegas Blvd; the brouhaha of the LV Hilton becoming the LVH and the Tropicana in receivership without a brand or a clear future. This is an exquisite property.

The closing of the Bacio restaurant forces us to face the fact that Vegas keeps reinventing itself just like this columnist keeps tweaking and reinventing his brand. The Plaza is closing its showroom, evicting three shows: Bite Las Vegas, The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas and Grand Ole Vegas. They reportedly hope to reopen in January.

Anthony Cools is reportedly ending his position with the Plaza’s Theater but of course he will continue with his successful run at the Paris. This coming year, someone is investing millions in the Sahara, trying to bring it back to its former glory. We’ve seen shows open, we’ve seen shows close; we have the Boulevard, The Onyx Theater and the Convention Center.

Felix Rappaport has announced his retirement effective the end of December, He’s very highly regarded as one of the best in the hospitality business. Felix was instrumental in the success of the Luxor, Excalibur and New York, New York. He then became president of the Mirage. We all hope that he will enjoy his retirement.

How about the news that Rosanne Barr will be back doing stand-up at the Trop in January and February in their Laugh Factory for the 7 p.m. time slot. Murray the Magician will then move his show to 4 p.m.

I mentioned last week about Vegas going “country.” We have Soul2Soul at The Venetian with Faith Hill and Tim McGraw. Shania Twain came out of the gate with a fabulous show at the Colisseum at Caesars Palace.

And soon Celine returns as the Queen. The ticket-selling diva is without doubt the most famous female artist in Vegas. Also at The Venetian we have Rock of Ages – a rock and roll musical (Tom Cruise did the movie but it didn’t fare so well).

Now this reality show kick in Vegas I mentioned earlier. It’s like pasta. You know how you tell if pasta is ready? You throw it against the wall and it should stick. With all these new adventures, I’m afraid we have a lot of pasta on the floor because most of this stuff ain’t sticking.

I’ve dipped my toes in lots of arenas and somebody should be asking me about some of these new ventures. In some cases I’ve dipped my whole body!! I know what will work – just ask me; and I don’t mind being paid under the table!

Who knows what the New Year will bring? Whatever it is, I’m ready and will do my best to keep you up to date and informed about the talk of the town. To all my fans, Happy Holidays! Be healthy and tell your friends you love them.

Make sure you are still in the will. Where there’s a will, there’s a way. If there’s not a will there may be a way. Whatever. I’m stepping up my game and I hope you will join me on my continuing adventure.

Shalom!

Monti Rock, who starred with John Travolta is the classic Saturday Night Fever, is a legend, performer, GamingToday entertainment columnist and marketing expert. Contact Monti at [email protected].

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