On the second day of Christmas my bookie gave to me

On the second day of Christmas my bookie gave to me

December 27, 2017 9:30 AM
by

 

(EDITOR’S NOTE: This is the fourth free throw in our 2017 college basketball edition of the Dirty Dozen, which emphasizes the very worst in Division I over the past week from a betting perspective. By unpopular demand look for the NFL Dirty Dozen on Fridays).

On the second day after Christmas my true bookie gave to me a Santa Clara Claus home game against Pepperdine. On the fourth day he’s giving me an all expense not paid trip to Gonzaga for a butt whipping.

You see Santa Clara Claus is 1-9 against the spread and bettors in their right mind are wagering against them. The only recognizable teams on Santa’s nonconference schedule (Nevada and USC) they lost to by a combined 53 points.

Clara was also matched up this season with Portland State in a Dirty Dozen classic won by PSU by 3. Clara was actually favored by 2.5 and P-State was so inspired by the cover that they have gone on to lead the nation at 10-0, numero uno among 323 Division I schools.

As for Santa they sit No. 2 in our latest poll behind Vanderbilt, but we never have a bad word to say about our triplets – Vandy, Wake Forest and Northwestern. The trio’s SAT scores usually beat the ATS.

We can’t tell you a whole lot about Santa Clara Claus because their games are only shown on Uranis. However we understand their recruiting class next year includes Donner, Cupid, Vixen and Prancer. Blitzen and Dancer went to Jared, while poor Rudolph was not allowed to play in any reindeer games.

That’s our holiday story and we’re sticking to it. And now for our latest Dirty Dozen poll which we hope you remember to bet against for at least the next 7 days.

12. Colorado State (2-7 ATS): Have to give the Mountain West some love.

11. E. Illinois (2-7): No, Clyde Frazier didn’t play for them.

10. UConn (2-7): Ray Allen is thinking about returning.

9. Ole Miss (3-8): Name me an NBA player from there.

8. CSU- Northridge (2-8-1): Remember what we said about hyphens.

7. Oregon State (3-9): Beavers just don’t scare anyone.

6. SIU-Edwardsville (1-8) Clyde didn’t play there either, but you’re getting warmer.

5. Denver (2-9): Paxton Lynch is getting the start this week.

4. Providence (2-9): Our politically correct selection.

3. NC-Wilmington (1-9): We do have a bias for hyphens.

2. Santa Clara (1-9): Santa Baby is the school’s fight song.

1. Vanderbilt (0-9): Carrie Underwood returned her tickets.

Encore: We lost a legend in Dick Enberg who called both the Lew Alcindor UCLA loss to Houston in the Astrodome and the Bill Walton-led Bruins’ defeat at Notre Dame. Unforgettable.