40 ways to spot a Real Bookie

November 10, 2015 3:00 AM


NFL, NBA, NCAA, Sports bettingThis week I’m going to tell you how to spot a Real Bookie. He is a person who:

• Books with his own bankroll;

• Knows everyone by their first name, which is usually “Pal;”

• Profiles his players, not everyone is “Pal;”

• Makes you check a figure;

• When it’s a big minus, he responds, “on the nuts my friend;”

• When it’s a big plus, he responds, “check;”

• Smokes a stogie;

• Pronounces three as tree;

• Uses the term “yooze guys” a lot;

• Never says half but always says hook;

• Is the only businessman who can make money by keeping someone on hold;

• Has a big Lincoln or Caddy so he can fit his fat butt in;

• Through rain, snow or sleet, win or lose, never misses settle up day;

• Is paranoid;

• Uses a linesmaker because he knows less about the teams than his players;

• Doesn’t know sports but does know 11 is bigger than 10;

• Hates middlers, scalpers, wiseguys and sharps;

• Loves touts and 900# picks;

• Loves his players who call them;

• Thinks all squares are degenerates;

• Tells all his degenerates he doesn’t want to “see a good guy like you get in over your head;”

• Tracks his players better than a CPA;

• Has payment plans better than any bank;

• Has at least one ex-player making installments for the rest of his life;

• Has high blood pressure;

• Gives out “free schedules;”

• Has “a guy” in Las Vegas;

• Has investments in tape recorders;

• Changes his phone/cell number on a regular basis;

• Tells the same “humorous” story over and over again;

• Has spent at least one night in the slammer;

• Thinks he’s under appreciated by his players;

• Doesn’t sweat games in public;

• Never wins, always “had a bad week;”

• Laughs at his own jokes;

• Doesn’t pay income taxes but pays something called a street tax;

• Spends off-season on vacation while his players look for a fresh bankroll;

• Thinks he can win on his vacations to Las Vegas or has an “office” that doesn’t physically exist;

• Controls all the action, i.e. who you can bet, when you can bet, what you can bet on, how much and at what price, pays when you win and collects when you lose.

• Passes the same $20 bill back and forth with his players – only he keeps it 20 days a month and they get it for 10 days.

Email me if you know a Real Bookie.

Scotty Schettler began his Las Vegas journey in 1968. By the time he quit the race and sports book business he had booked over $1.5 billion for different employers. He says he knows where most of the cans are buried. His book,  is available on amazon.com. Contact Scotty at ScottSchettler@GamingToday.com.

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