How about throwing Eli to the Fish!
October 27, 2017 9:07 AM
by Mark Mayer
(EDITOR’S NOTE: This is the sixth throw from scrimmage in our 2017 NFL edition of the Dirty Dozen, which emphasizes the very worst in the No Fun League over the past week from a betting perspective).
Since Eli Manning’s name is being kicked around like a hacky sack in possible midseason trade talk, let’s create a rumor and suggest he should be sent to Miami.
I know it’s laughable to believe after watching a 40-0 Fish Fry in the Baltimore Harbor on Thursday night that the Dolphins at 4-3 are still above .500 waters. I think that shows the parity of the NFL in its saddest form. We can take equality involving a lot of good teams, but this season we are seeing it with a bunch of stinkers.
Fortunately I dozed off late in the second quarter and didn’t wake up until the teams were shaking hands after the game. But I did see enough to know that Miami is in serious need of a starting quarterback. The fans liked Ryan Tannehill and then they didn’t. They were optimistic bringing Jay Cutler in from his TV gig when Tannehill was hurt and then they weren’t.
And when Cutler went down, they wanted Matt Moore the popular backup for so many years in aqua blue and white. You can bet after what went down in B-More, they prefer Matt a lot less.
So that brings us back to Eli, who social media has being sent to points in the NFL near and far from the Meadowlands. I saw one story having him in a Jets uniform. Another had him going to Green Bay to replace the injured Aaron Rodgers. Still another sent him to Denver to save the Broncos. So we’ll offer his services to the Dolphins while the Fish are still fresh in the Wild Card chase.
The Dolphins are 3-3-1 against the spread, so they didn’t qualify for Dirty Dozen status just yet. But losing 40-0 definitely earns you serious run with our panel –a sadistic group that actually made the argument taking +3 prior to kickoff was worth considering even with the game in Baltimore.
As for Baltimore, for one time they looked like the old Ravens punishing opponents on defense. This new bunch still has to win us over.
And now for the latest Dirty 12 in our poll from a betting perspective.
12. Carolina (3-4 ATS): Cam gets the nod over Sir Isaac and Brady’s Pats.
11. Green Bay (3-4): We need a Bay of Pigs matchup with Tampa.
10. Tennessee (3-4): Are we talking about Titans or the Titanic?
9. Oakland (3-4): This week’s opponent Buffalo is an NFL best 4-1-1 ATS.
8. Indianapolis (3-4): Made Jacksonville look like a Super Bowl team.
7. NY Giants (3-4): Eli needs a hug and some healthy wideouts.
6. Denver (2-3-1): One of Manning’s possible destinations. Didn’t Peyton play there?
5. Atlanta (2-4): Please don’t bring up the New England Patriots.
4. Washington (2-4): Josh Norman better be coming back real soon.
3. Cleveland (2-5): Is London ready for another Kizer comeback?
2. Tampa Bay (1-6-1): What up, Jameis?
1. Arizona (1-6): Let’s throw Eli to Zona out there with Drew Stanton at QB.
Encore: We have a good prop bet for the books. How long does a Cam Newton midweek press conference last? The choices are over/ under 10 minutes, over/ under 5 minutes or he simply doesn’t show up.